How To Cope With Separation From Loved ones

 I believe that  strength is not measured by  how much we have encountered on earth nor how long we have lived on earth.Our strength is measured by the amount of battles we have conquered and survived. We can only know how much strength we possess, when we are out of our comfort zone.Winning a battle means "though I bear the marks on my body, though i have wounds but I  fought a war many fought and did not  survive and I survived, the scars are evidences that I am experienced"

 

The battle some of us are fighting now, is long separation from family members or loved ones.I know how much it hurts but I have a word for anyone going through any form of long separation right now, the word is YOU CAN SURVIVE. I am an expert in this field, so chill and me let me lend you some advice on how to deal with separation from family or loved ones...hehe it feels so good to be an expert after four long years of separation form my family and loved ones .

Here we go;

Understand you left them for a reason and concentrate on that reason

 Maybe you've just been deployed, maybe you are away studying in far country from home, maybe you are carrying out an official assignment that requires you to be away from your loved for some time. No one wakes up one day and just decides to leave their loved ones. There is always a reason, most times it's a matter of urgency. Of  course if you had it in your power, you would have loved to take them along we you.To have them by your side all the time but some factors made it quite impossible. Now that you are not with them, I  advice you  focus on the reason why you left home, put a lot of focus and commitment into the task or assignment you carrying out, so that it can quickly yield productive results and you can be with your family and loved ones soon.

Let others help.

Gaining new friends can give you a sense of confidence that will help you overcome and cope with your separation. You can never forget about your loved ones but you can cope and live a happy life wherever you are by building a family there too. Always develop relationships with other people you meet wherever you are.The love and support you get from your new friends can be a source of strength. You could also join a support group. Talk with others who are in similar situations and may be experiencing similar emotions. Knowing that you're not alone in what you're feeling may help you deal with your recent separation.

Concentrate on your interests. 

Spending time in other activities leaves you less time to dwell on your separation.Establish a hobby. Take a class, join a club or association or rediscover a long-forgotten passion.Volunteer for an organization or cause. Participate in volunteer projects that take the focus away from your own situation and focus it on helping others. I  love visiting places, it  takes my mind off a lot of things. It helps me concentrate on the beauty of life, it gives me hope and help me see things in a positive way.

Staying in touch  

It's vital to have a communication plan and stick to it. If someone is expecting letters or phone calls that never come, fear and anxiety could set in. Regular communication is extremely important because it can raise morale and help you and your loved ones cope with separation. Don't forget to send them your regular day in photos. Write frequent, short letters. Encourage children and friends to send postcards or brief notes. Constant communication  can be very uplifting.Don't avoid answering questions or write about rumors or gossip. Avoiding questions or passing along misinformation that may cause worry or fear, knowing your loved ones are worried doesn't make you feel better. Try to keep communications full of news about friends, family, local events, and expressions of love.

 God's Love is the Answer

Remember that God will never leave your side. You might not have your loved ones with you to lean on, to share how your day went, to express your thoughts and feelings but always remember that your creator is always with you. I have survived four years of separation from my loved ones because I have a reliable God.There have been days I felt I needed something real, something familiar other than God but God has always proven to me that he just the realest thing ever. He knows what we go through and he will definitely see us through.You may feel like you’re going through this struggle all alone, but from the moment you ask Jesus to bring you into God’s family, He will be by your side to the end so never lose hope!

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

I have been separated from my loved ones back in Nigeria for four years now(like I have not seen them for that long...gosh!), but I have learnt to manage the situation and not let the situation manage me. I always remind of myself of the need to put in all my effort in my studies because I don't want to let myself nor my loved ones down by getting bad grades. This sacrifice must yield good results, we shall all smile at last!

I hope this helps someone out there, if you have anymore advice to add to the ones i have listed here, please send me am email : nwaforsandr@gmail.com