Yeah I am back! Anyone reading this? Thank you for reading my article even after the long break. I salute you all. Back to business which is the core essence of writing this post at 5:05 am in the morning. When that relationship becomes a god...hmmn this really got me thinking. So I am laying on my bed and doing some real serious thinking. I first thought of captioning this post a letter to myself but then I heard a tiny voice say when that relationship becomes a god. What exactly do those words mean. I am wondering too you know. Well google is our loyal friend so lets do some research here. I typed when that relationship becomes a god and first thing that caught my attention was a saying by C.S. Lewis "that love that becomes a god, becomes a demon." Well I agree totally.
If you are reading this and you are in a relationship where everything in your life revolves around it then baby you have to keep reading this. There are relationships and there are situationships. The kind of love that becomes demonic is the type that sucks the blood and happiness out of you. The type you labor too hard to make work yet you suffer deep heart ache because of the pain it brings frequently. It's like trying to make a dead engine come back to life. A woman or a man ought not be be in this type of relationship because it is indeed very toxic and most times it leads nowhere. I guess it's time you stop that roller-coaster that ain't going nowhere.
If you keep trying to fix it until you both land at the altar truth is you will still end up heart broken after trying to fix and fix and fix whats not really working. Of course you keep trying to fix it even when it is glaring that it is not working because you have no life apart from that relationship. Or lets just say you can't see a better life outside that relationship. You literally hang in there waiting for what will never be right to become right because you think or fear just the thought of being alone. Hello! Enjoy independence. Go get a life. Build something. It is of great importance never to have your relationship as the ONLY priority. Set boundaries with how much you can go for love. Don't go about doing stupid things or demeaning yourself just because of a relationship. Make rules and build walls that would protect your heart from being invaded by miscreants and opportunists.
Take this from me "An individual who finds the 'why' to why he or she is living will never be in that relationship that becomes a god'..just because purpose makes you busy and sets you on the right path. When you find the 'why' and keep the the 'whats' required to be able to make your purpose influential and impactful in the lives of others, you have a more refined and fine tuned mind that only picks the individuals that are helpful in making you achieve your purpose. Such individuals know better than to show up in your life and start demanding for a totally overhauling to make you become what you never was.
That relationship is a god when your partner dictates what your life should be like. There ought to be a thing called respect in a relationship. There ought to be compatibility. There ought to be some space that allows room for both individuals to showcase there uniqueness and enjoy their independence. If that man or woman wants you to be just like him/her ask that person to go get cloned. We've got no time for self absorbed, self centered human beings.
When he starts threatening to slap the hell of you or talks to you anyhow in a very disrespectful manner yet you stay in it then that relationship is becoming a god and you know what happens next? You will soon find yourself loosing your self worth in the name of trying to do anything to make it work. Good sex, blow jobs, allowing him change who you really are, keeping quiet when he hauls insults and throws jabs at you won't make it work. It never does. If it's not working you have to reach a point of acceptance that it really isn't working and avoid causing more damage by forcing whats not to become. This lofty feeling of passion which we often think is love is really not enough, Yes I said it love is not enough to keep the ball rolling.
This one thing I tell myself. If you are on a journey, you really need to stop at some point, take a look back and decide if the journey is worth taking one more step. If all you see is pain, damage, a marred self esteem, a broken heart that keeps waiting for that person to show some love, a lover that shares a bed with you yet you feel thousand of miles apart, a damaged soul then I think it's time you take a look at the YOU you are now and the YOU you were before your got into that relationship and take a 360 degree turn without looking back.
Wash you face, turn up at a friends place, laugh your heart out, read books, find something you always wanted to do and do it. You were built to be strong. Mistakes are not meant to break you or hold you in bondage. You learn from your mistakes and move on. Be wiser next time. Pray and watch carefully before you go into the next relationship.
I know deep within you all you want is happiness. Maybe you made some big mistakes that contributed to things getting this bad but if your partner is already out of it and all he/she does is try to inflict pain instead of working with you to get things back into shape then you have to leave. If you really want to be happy I dare you to get out of that relationship that has become a god and begin the whole healing process of creating the kind of life you want. Start by making yourself happy. Go on a YOLO vacation. Try out new stuffs. Read books. Find something that really catches your fancy. Fill that vacant space with something.
Forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, stop placing blame, stop replaying the past, let go of fear, drop the "what if's ", change the way you view things, discover your core needs, use wisdom and try again. Wash rinse and repeat ❤💋.
Love you all. I will try to show more frequently. Kisses and hugs.
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